Understanding the Difference Between Emotions and Feelings: A Path to Emotional Responsibility

Emotions and feelings are an essential part of the human experience. They shape our interactions, influence our decisions, and colour our perception of the world. From the exhilaration of joy to the depths of sadness, emotions provide a rich tapestry of experiences that add depth to our lives.

Emotions vs. Feelings

Often used interchangeably, these terms possess distinct characteristics that merit closer examination.

Emotions vs. Feelings: Unravelling the Distinction

Emotions and feelings are closely related, yet they represent distinct aspects of our inner world. By understanding the difference between emotions and feelings, we can develop a greater sense of emotional intelligence and take responsibility for our own emotional well-being, while respecting the emotions of others.

Emotions are raw, instinctual responses triggered by external or internal stimuli. They are typically brief and intense, often arising unconsciously. In contrast, feelings are the conscious experiences that arise from interpreting and attaching meaning to our emotions. Feelings are shaped by our beliefs, thoughts, and past experiences.

At their core, emotions can be categorized into several fundamental types. These primary emotions are universal and are experienced by people across cultures. They include:

Joy: The uplifting sense of happiness and contentment.

Sadness: The feeling of sorrow and grief.

Anger: The intense emotion often triggered by frustration or perceived injustice.

Fear: The sensation of apprehension when faced with potential danger.

Disgust: The revulsion or aversion towards something unpleasant.

Surprise: The unexpected emotion that arises from a sudden event.

Besides the basic emotions, there are a multitude of complex emotions that arise from the interplay between different emotional states. These complex emotions are typically more nuanced and can vary according to individual experiences. Some examples of complex emotions include:

Love: The intense feeling of affection and attachment towards someone or something.

Guilt: The remorse and regret that stem from a sense of wrongdoing.

Shame: The feeling of humiliation arising from a personal flaw or failure.

Jealousy: The mix of insecurity and envy triggered by a perceived threat to what one values.

Anxiety: The unease and uneasiness caused by potential future events or uncertainties.

Empathy: The ability to understand and share the emotions of others.

Gratitude: The feeling of appreciation and thankfulness towards someone or something.

Pride: The sense of accomplishment and satisfaction in one's achievements.

Owning Our Emotions: Why it is so important

Understanding and validating our own emotions is crucial for our overall well-being and personal growth. Here are some reasons why it is important:

1. Self-Awareness: Understanding and validating our emotions helps us develop self-awareness. It allows us to recognize and acknowledge our emotional experiences, giving us insight into our inner world and how we respond to different situations.

2. Emotional Regulation: When we understand and validate our emotions, we can better regulate them. Instead of suppressing or denying our feelings, we can learn healthy ways to express and manage them. This leads to improved emotional well-being and more effective coping strategies.

3. Authenticity and Self-Acceptance: Validating our emotions means accepting ourselves as we are, without judgment or self-criticism. It allows us to embrace our emotional experiences as a natural part of being human. This self-acceptance fosters authenticity and enables us to live more aligned with our true selves.

4. Improved Relationships: When we understand and validate our own emotions, we become better equipped to navigate relationships with others. It helps us communicate our needs and boundaries effectively, fostering healthier and more fulfilling connections.

5. Decision-Making: Emotions carry valuable information that can guide our decision-making processes. When we understand and validate our emotions, we can make choices that align with our values, aspirations, and overall well-being. It allows us to tap into our intuition and inner wisdom.

6. Emotional Resilience: Validating our emotions contributes to emotional resilience. It helps us develop the ability to bounce back from setbacks, adapt to challenges, and maintain a sense of balance amidst life's ups and downs. By acknowledging and honoring our emotions, we build strength and capacity to navigate difficult situations.

7. Personal Growth: Understanding and validating our emotions is an essential component of personal growth. It encourages introspection, self-reflection, and a deeper understanding of ourselves. It opens doors to learning, healing, and transformation, leading to enhanced self-development and self-actualization.

8. Emotional Intelligence: Validating our emotions is a key aspect of emotional intelligence. It involves recognizing, understanding, and managing our own emotions, as well as empathizing with the emotions of others. Emotional intelligence is a valuable skill that supports success in various aspects of life, including work, relationships, and personal well-being.

Working to understand our own feelings and emotions leads to increased self-awareness, better emotional regulation, improved relationships, informed decision-making, emotional resilience, personal growth, and emotional intelligence. It empowers us to live more authentically, navigate challenges effectively, and cultivate healthier connections with ourselves and others.

Exploring Emotions: 10 Journal Prompts

Keeping a journal is an effective way to delve into the realm of emotions and develop emotional awareness, especially if this is a journey you are new to. If journaling isn’t your thing, but you’d like to have a conversation about how to recognise, validate and own your own emotions, book in with us for a virtual coffee and a chat. We’d love to hear from you.

Here are ten prompts to guide your exploration:

1. What are the dominant emotions you experienced today, and what events or situations triggered them?

2. How do these emotions manifest in your body? Are there any physical sensations associated with specific emotions?

3. Reflect on a past event that brought about a powerful emotional response. How did you interpret and understand that emotion at the time? Has your understanding evolved since then?

4. Identify any recurring patterns in your emotional responses. Do certain situations or people consistently elicit specific emotions? What might be the underlying reasons for these patterns?

5. Explore the link between your emotions and your beliefs. Are there any core beliefs that consistently influence your emotional experiences? How do these beliefs shape your feelings?

6. Consider a recent situation where you experienced conflicting emotions. How did you navigate and make sense of these opposing feelings?

7. Reflect on how your emotional state affects your interactions with others. Are there any patterns or tendencies you notice when you are in specific emotional states?

8. What are your go-to coping mechanisms for dealing with challenging emotions? Are they effective, or do they hinder your emotional well-being in any way?

9. Identify any emotional blind spots or areas where you tend to suppress or avoid certain emotions. How might these blind spots impact your overall emotional health?

10. Imagine a scenario where you respond to your emotions with greater responsibility. How does this shift in mindset and behaviour influence your overall well-being?

Because YOU matter.

Taking Responsibility for Your Emotions

While we cannot control the initial emotional responses that arise within us, we can choose how we respond to them. Here are some key strategies for taking responsibility for your emotions:

1. Self-Awareness: Cultivate an understanding of your emotions, their triggers, and the patterns they create.

2. Mindful Observation: Practice observing your emotions without judgment or attachment, allowing them to come and go.

3. Emotional Acceptance: Acknowledge and validate your emotions, recognizing that they are natural and valid responses.

4. Response, not Reaction: Pause before responding to an emotion, choosing a conscious and constructive course of action instead of reacting impulsively.

5. Emotional Regulation: Develop healthy coping mechanisms to manage and regulate intense emotions, such as deep breathing, meditation, or physical exercise.

6. Self-Reflection: Regularly reflect on your emotional experiences, seeking to understand the underlying beliefs and thought patterns that influence your feelings.

7. Boundaries: Set clear boundaries to protect your emotional well-being, communicating your needs to others and respecting their emotional boundaries as well.

8. Seek Support: Reach out to trusted friends, family, or professionals when you need guidance or assistance in navigating your emotions.

9. Empathy and Compassion: Cultivate empathy towards yourself and others, recognizing that everyone experiences a wide range of emotions.

10. Emotional Growth: Embrace your emotions as valuable teachers, viewing challenging emotional experiences as opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

By differentiating between emotions and feelings, and embracing the concept of emotional responsibility, we can cultivate greater self-awareness, empathy, and overall emotional well-being. Through journaling and introspection, we can gain insights into our emotional experiences, leading to healthier relationships with ourselves and others. Taking responsibility for our emotions empowers us to navigate life's ups and downs with resilience and compassion, fostering personal growth and emotional fulfilment.

Learning to take responsibility for our own emotions, while accepting the emotions of others are a separate entity is hard work. For generations, especially as women we have been handed the responsibility of keeping our households, our spouses and our children happy, while setting our own emotions and needs to one side.

We are here to tell you it doesn’t always have to be that way. We want to help you find your voice, learn to prioritise yourself, your need and your emotions, to be a happier more fulfilled you in every aspect of your life.

You’ve heard the rules on the airplane. Your oxygen mask always goes on first. Well it’s time to put that into practice in real life.

Because YOU matter.